Stingy Kisser versus Kissing Bandit

Okay, so I guess I'm still a bit sore over the fact that H is a stingy freakin kisser. Now, A on the other hand, I know, wants these lips and eventually, the OTHER not happening too soon lips..so now I have to choose. As I am not one for games, I feel that the stingy kisser will lose. The kissing bandit, will win, he wins the game, he wins the prize, he wins it all. Winner takes all, loser gets none. Now, If I was, lets say, one of these average type chicks, one of these women today who are aware of this new game, bull crap bologna, then I would think that stingy kisser will win. See, being old school and into the old ways, I'm just a very different person. Now lets go back to the last time I started a relationship, which would be 20 years ago. It went like this...."I really like you, you are so friggin cool and I will never hurt you, I want you to be my girl"......Now I have a feeling, things are just a wee little bit different from the last time I had to get involved with someone. So now, I meet someone who is rather traditional, someone who understand this concept and who warns me that men today are not looking for a relationship. A man who swears to me that he is the last man to want a girl in his life, his girl, his woman. So now confusion sets in...I like him, he is too good with the phone, talked to me last night and says good night to me....He is sweet and nice...not hot tempered like H...not mean like H...not a womanizer like H..yuk...He is also really warm, not luke warm...umm like H..
Now H was like this..so now I'm wondering if A is pretty much the old H...and maybe with H, as our honeymoon came to an end....maybe H doesn't feel the need to do all of the things he did to capture my attention...no more sweet emails, no more phone...god, how I love the phone...no more sweetness. Now I need sweetness......lots of attention. What happens here, getting back to that average chick, she will stay with the stingy kisser because, umm, her options are naturally low and umm, I'd rather be alone than be with someone who is not good to me...she is into the "oh he is so neglectful..so frigin into ignoring me, never pays attention to me..god, he must love me." I am different, because I will walk...rather run..again..I will run into the arms of the man who has my back, who is there for me, who is ready to put that smile on my face, not the drama, not the wondering. So now, I will see A again tomorrow, I love the way he is so ready to clear his schedule for me..so happy to hear from me...so happy to be with me.....what am I to do.....the only thing H has on him....is that HE WAS this way, which made me fall so hard for him, which made me his....now since he is no longer this way... I think it may be safe to acknowledge and realize that I need so much more, I am old fashioned in how I need a man to be...which is attentive...attentive to me....and one who wants me...it doesn't make it boring...it makes me complete...it makes it that good...it's what I was used to...the ex..even after 10 years...if he had to win every teddy bear for me..it's what he had to do, because he knew it made me happy....so as far as the psychic from yesterday..another whole story...she is right that I need to be careful, that one is not being truthful with me...because the way I see it, if H is not talking to me at night....not sending me those sweet emails, then he's doing it for someone else....which is always the case....and as far as the phone...I know...because I'm on the phone with A...pretty much all day...and if he has the time for me....then what more can someone want? The only hold H has over it all, is the fact that he captured me with the way A is now...has he killed it, yes.....has he made it die...yes...did he water it and make it grow, no....so I guess, as time goes on, the memory of his kindness and sweetness will soon be replaced....and just for the record...still haven't heard a word from since Saturday night..safe to say it's over...or he's with chiquita banana..something I won't do...start to wonder about him. I refuse to...I don't need to..the way I can make a man secure, is the same way he should make me secure..I am just not into these games. I like you, I'm going to tell, going to show you...I just hope the feelings I have for him start to die down for me, so I can truthfully know if to give A that chance....that clean chance without someone else in my head..I wouldn't do that to him, as I wouldn't want someone to do that to me...I'm just confused...so confused and H doesn't make it any easier..or does he? Maybe his silence speaks louder than anything right now...I have to listen...see who is the untruthful one....and I have to follow my heart...right now, he has it...and I think I want it back....I only want to give it to the one who shows me...I don't have the patience for the games, but I do have patience for the man...