And Finally Vacation..

So the first day of my vacation is here. Nice to have slept in a bit..but there is so much that I need to do, so much that I want to do. I have been somewhat on an emotional rollercoaster. I just can't seem to put my finger on it..as it isn't really in me to be so caught up, so drained, so withdrawn. I really do feel as if I've had a dark, dismal cloud hanging over my head and it's now passing. I do believe in a lot of factors...the moon, the planets, the time of year..personal things. So after a trying week...Friday ending with this man at my job who did nothing but turn my stomach and had my nerves shot..may have returned. On Monday..I came out for lunch and there was a dead rose on my windshield..this now turned into to more drama..as my boss feels I need to get the police involved..I have not said a word to anyone in my family..as I know I would have to leave..so trusting my attorney best friend..I didn't do it..Now she was with me..when I went through what I went through..was the person called as I came to...so.. been there done that..and I will tell you now, talking to detectives and going through pictures is not a good thing...I don't have the stomach for it...I have been advised to lay low..he has not called..a sign of premeditaion or possession, whatever that means.. Time will tell. I hate men..I really do..nope..you don't understand..I really do.
So now its Sunday..my holiday..Palm Sunday..went to my sisters, what a horrible day. My girlfriend informed me that she was moving forever back to Pakistan. How I love her..we became like sisters..I felt as if I now had 6 sisters..what a perfect world that would be...her husband hated it here and left her to go back..she was devastated..had to take her daughter out of school..I felt horrible, told her I would pay her daughters tuition..to give me the child and let her be in school..made all arrangements and drove her daughter home after school..Her heart was bleeding that her husband had left..I knew I had to do what anyone would do..always be there for your girls...so she found a job...was happy and then..as fate would have it..he freakin calls..wants her to come home..give up life here. I rushed over. Told her she needs to go, to be with her husband..I cried..I will miss her sooo much. I took my necklace that I wear all of the time off from around my neck and put it around hers...I told her to keep it for me..as I know I'll see her again..I know the only way I'll see her is if I go to Pakistan..and I know I will see her again in this life..I just have to..I feel as if she will go home and have another child with her husband..I told her..a boy..and then I'll come...Its so strange the way that you can just meet someone so strangely..and the impact is so deep..the connection so strong..she couldn't stop crying..I couldn't stop crying...we laughed..about our tea moments..about the best way her mother in law should just die..how her mother in law should die in less than 2 years..no 2 months...no 2 days..nope..2 hours..and we laughed and cried...I know I will see her again..Sidra I love you and I will always wish you well..I know our paths will cross again..I will write to you as I promised..be well....and don't worry..she'll croak soon...
So with all of my drama..my search for a new H replacement..I do need to salvage my ME time...need some down time..would actually think of doing something I've never done in my entire life...but to go to the movie theatre..the one I went to with H..and just sit there by myself and watch a good movie..nothing relaxes me more...but I have never gone alone...and what company can I go with..if I have no patience for men...I just need to find someone nice....comforting..easy going..someone who is like H...that can do with me..what I enjoy most..watch a movie.........I swear..I don't ask for the big things in this life...