Eh....

So nothing today, didn't even hear from him, no phone message, no loving email, no apology...nothing...so I sat home all day, what a beautiful day to wash windows, the weather was amazing. I felt like being home, pining...what else is new....eh........ so tonight, I forwarded a message to him which stated that I can't be the person he wants me to be. I truly feel that he doesn't even care. He's probably out getting laid, maybe with 2 girls, i don't know, I don't care. If he cared about me, he would've called me by now or emailed me or something. So I figured, why procrastinate the inevitable. I need a lot of attention, and H is tooooo busy for me, he always says soon, I hate soon...I have such a need to be with him always, its best to just end things now, its better this way. I will save myself from hurt later on. I was just a piece of ass for H, I just know it. And now, he will have more sex time to schedule all of the other women he's dating, so I guess, he must be thrilled. Now, I have to find a new man. I realize now, I want to be with someone. Someone who's very affectionate, where will I find a boob and ass man, as H was? God, he was amazing...just so perfect, so sensual. But now I need to find someone new...I want someone to do stuff with, someone to get me out of the house a H did, when we first met, but I want it to last, and I don't want him to leave...to go to another country as soon as we meet, or get laid and tell me about it...I just want a nice, sweet, thoughtful man...who has a take control in the bedroom attitude....a strong man...where can I meet a man who is stronger than me, I wish sometimes that I wasn't as hard and solid as I am...where I was a bit wimpy..so it wouldn't be so hard to find that strong man....I don't know...I'm going to bed...with H on my mind....it will go away soon, it has to...I wish he didn't say such hurtful things, I miss him.