Happy Belated Valentine's Day....

So I sent my lover, which I thought was a sexy Valentine...a sexy Valentine...only to realize he hates Valentine's Day, or should I say, not into it...uuuugggghhh....now I am nothing more than completely superficial and materialistic and I do not have a problem admitting it, I don't think it's a bad thing...so my lover..how he drives me nuts...whether he is being sweet as pie...or being completely indifferent, either which way...he has me nuts...so he tells me he's not into it..now I think he is quite romantic, extremely thoughtful and have I mentioned sexy....so I was quite understanding...I don't feel someone should show you love and attention ummm, just on one day...I would rather be shown all of the time, everyday, everynight, every moment....his phone calls, emails and presence mean more to me on a daily basis than the one day that was quite brutal outside..a complete mess...so my lover was way too sweet to me tonight...he kinda made it sound as if he wanted to knock me up...which came out completely wrong, but the shock on my face was enough for me to think about it...Now, he is just sooo sexy...but there is just something that I can't quite put my finger on that makes me a tad bit, not a lot, uneasy...maybe its because I've been away from him for so long...and I've allowed my thoughts to wander...I don't know, but time will tell me.....I trust time....now I am trying to be patient...I am off next week and I do wish to venture out a bit...there are things I need to do work wise and there are things home I need to do as well...so I just hope our paths cross, because he just seems so far from me right now and I am craving so badly some H quality time of just being with him....I need to know if he feels the same or if his mind is still occupied with some woman who has many years over me....I don't know....H, I miss you darling....please don't leave my life yet...the stay has to be longer....