Little things.....

So I'm doing much better. H, darling, you are so in my head and my heart..how I miss you..you spoiled me so much here...and now to be without you, yea its difficult. I don't like to view myself as selfish..so I'm okay..thank God I have the week from hell this week at work. I am very busy...I have too much riding on this week, too many things going into effect..everything must fall into place....from now straight until Friday night...So work is good. So I gave my boss a sweet little gift this morning...that I had no idea would have been so appreciated ever....made me really wonder...have you not ever received anything before?? Now, my boss..ugh has always received unbelievable gifts...so I couldn't understand the drama over mine...no occassion or anything....I'm just a giving person...my mother always said, "If you always give, you'll always receive" So yea, I'm the type if I see something and it makes me think of you..yeah I get it for you..for no special reason. My circle is very small...the way I like it...can't stand people...so the ones close to me are real close...so the little things..I must say..I guess, as my boss, I do appreciate the small things more in life...now don't get me wrong....I love big, expensive things..but, eh, was never top on my list of priorities...I love good quality stuff....love jewelry...of course..bags and shoes..such a weakness..but I must say..when it comes to shopping..I get bored...I'd rather spend quality moments doing something for myself or being in good company....Like for the last month, I've realized that my most happiest moments were doing the simple things...like watching an amazing movie with ugh, this man who has me besides myself....walking with him..with my arm in his arm...or just driving with him...god, how I never wanted those moments to end...so let me see, if I had to choose between shopping for that great big Louie travel size that I really need replaced...umm, I would choose, the simple...the good company of this man I adore, watching a movie so close to me..sorry Louie, I love you, your straps, your beautiful smell of fine leather, your shape, your huge size really turns me on....the way you fit me so well...but I want the other one more than you...and I must say, he does smell just a little bit better than you...So I never really thought about it..but I guess my boss really made me acknowledge this..the small things..its the little things that we do for each other that just means so much..so get off your ass, and just do what takes so little out of us..to just make a world of a difference to someone...its what life is about..there is too much hatred and coldness to not do it..I love being on the other side...killing everyone with my kindness...unless if you fuck with me..then you're going down...So after work, I rushed to my dear girlfriends house...she was hysterical...in a way I've never seen her before...she has a huge something in her breast..the right one...ugh...I was drained..how it pained me to have to see her like this. This is my girl....I love her dearly...and now this? She has 2 daughters, not fair...so I had to be strong..told her we will deal with this...I will pull her through...but I don't want it to be you know what...it can't...it just can't...so Bets...how I love you, you will never know...how I value you...you will be fine...you have to...we will get through this, as we did with your open heart surgery..I will be there for the girls...its done...you will be better than fine again...you have to be......I don't want this for you...It's not going to happen...it won't...you'll see....I love you Nappo, you my nigga!