The 'Freakin' Weekend

So as the weekend is quickly approaching, my new and fantastic lover wants me to spend the weekend with him from Friday night. How I adore this man, I can't comprehend. So yes, you guessed it, I cut him lose, put him out of his misery or should I say, misery soon to mine. How can I escape with him for the weekend when I know I'm falling so in love with him. So I question my big girl view, you know, the fuck the destination, enjoy the journey philosophy. But it's just not working. I must remain single. I must be free. I must be alone. I must not be made miserable by some man. I can hold my own. I have to stick to my laid out plan for myself. If I only continue with him, I know all of these things will fade and I'd want more. He can't give me more...I know where his head is at now....well, he stated it from the beginning...we haven't discussed it further..eh, I'm not one to bring things up...what am I going to do, tell him I'm falling in love with him and I want him so badly every night in my bed...and then pester to see if he will be with me for sometime?...I think not, it's easier for me to walk...or should I say, run now. I want him to be free...how I adore him, such a hunk of a man...the epitome of man....so big, so huge, so full of life...but I had to...freakin weekend...you made me hit the panic button....it would be for me, the weekend of no return..so eh, call me weird, I'd rather avoid it...oh God, H, this is so hard for me...I miss you so much, your mouth...your laugh..your voice...I have to be strong here...Love sucks, love is for losers....So this weekend, I will relax, listen to my CD's that allow me to think of him, I will drink my tea, get into a good book...wash my truck...armorall the whole thing, blog my heart out..and then I'll be fine. I'm a tough cookie....Men suck...how dare he be so perfect.....what was he thinking....so darling...I am so taken by you...so in love with every inch of you....but I must go...I can't take the chance....I have to stick to my life plans....which are all only about me...but it was nice, good.....sensational.....you will be with me always.....V