One More Person...

So I go to work today...what a completely annoying Monday....a bland Monday where one would rather be home...sleeping in, with only thoughts of one person...or better yet, sleeping in with that one person right next to them...So yeah, a retrded, hectic Monday. Now, I always tend to be dressed of course, makeup on and hair slicked back and up, in total bitch mode. Now today was quite different though. So a certain colleague, as soon as I walk through the door, is staring me down. Tells me I look fantastic..that I'm glowing. Wants to know why I look so happy...so now..uggghhh..I pause from my bitch mode...and I begin to blush....my God, does it show...so of course, I start to ask questions, something I'm very well known for doing....I said, "What are you talking about, how am I different, why do I usually look like shit? So she tells me "Uuuh...no, you know you always look good....but something is different...you are glowing...your whole face is lit up" With that, I responded, "Whatever, I gotta run"....and I took off....not knowing that I would be told the same thing throughout the rest of the short day by easily 20 others...from 8 until 11:30....total abuse.......so what the hell is going on...God, how I just wanted to burst...but what would I look like? Me, Ms. Hardass, get off my fucking path.....what would people think if I told them I"m absolutely nuts for someone...am I supposed to be? I'm a workaholic..I don't have time for this in my life...I can't lose ground, lose control.....I can't turn back now into total mush...I spent so much time toughening up....So for the remainder of the day...I was subjected to compliment after compliment...why are all eyes always on me...It becomes quite annoying...but there are way too many who are just too focused on me. I've always known it, and I guess I'm guilty..because I do play the role...new bag today...different jacket every other day...I do this because its expected from me...becomes annoying..but what can I do....there is always that one person that everyone looks to...in only 3 different atmospheres within the same career..I'm always that person. So I took this all in..thought about my sweet as sugar, gentle soul all day...as hectic as my day was....secretly cursed him out for making me a wimp...for making me blush like this in front of people that I am so strong for....I'm the strong one.....I guess I need someone strong for me...someone stronger than me that can allow me to just stop.....to just stop....aaah...breathe..and just go back to being who I truly am for just that moment...the one who I can just release with and have all defenses down for.....God, H......I'm catching flack for this...what did you do to me...........I have to toughen up on toughening up................uuuggghh colleagues..but I love them...update on psycho bitch from work....40 minutes late today...2 absences, back to back....Thursday and Friday...how pathetic can someone be....Who gets a fever..I had a fever easily 12 yrs ago...I detest wimpy people with no freakin spine.....Boss was beyond pissed....and I'm no better, just shrugged my shoulders and said "This is where I love to just keep my mouth shut...I have the termination letter prepared... as usual, just let me know when..." Call me bitter, but don't watch me, loser.....do your job......stay the hell away from me.....especially now.....when I just want to sit and blush all day....and savor every single moment and memory of him, while he's still with me.......so close to me....before he leaves me.............