Saturday Night...

So it's Saturday night and I am home. I woke up around noonish...and from there on, I tried to successfully complete all of my usual Saturday stuff. I went to the supermarket, I cooked, did laundry, pressed my clothes, cleaned and cleaned again. But oh God, how he is so in my head, so in my brain. How did I allow this to happen? All I could think about is what we would be doing together while we are away...just lazing around in bed, being silly, talking...cuddling, watching a movie, with his huge arms around me...his huge body wrapped around mine, I would be curling the bottom of my hair. So I made it through the day up until now...I cracked...I folded. I just called him. Yep, it went right to voicemail...I think he might have a girlfriend. So I left a message asking him to call me, as I do need my ring and my movie....I wonder if he's going to call me back...I wonder what he's thinking...I wonder how he's feeling. Maybe he's fine, maybe he's on a date with a girl with bigger boobs...longer hair....maybe he made weekend plans with someone else....I don't know...all I do know is....... I miss him, miss his touch, his beautiful hands all over me, his voice, his big chest....I miss HIM.....everything about him, his smell.....his beautiful eyes, that gorgeous face...but I must stick to my guns here....I do know that I need to see him this one last time...I need to see that face....and you know what, if I fold, I don't care, if all of my clothes come off in 2 minutes, I don't care...I know it may sound wrong...but this has to end...I want him to be free...he wants his freedom...if he wants his freedom, then why did he want to spend the whole weekend with me....why is he dating me...I'm so freakin confused...I just don't understand him and I don't want to ask either...because then, I'd look needy...and I'm not fucking needy....I need no one......it's best just to end things....ugh, men....can't live with them, can't live without them....Darling, I miss you terribly.....you'll never know....