Survival....

So my first night without him on this 3 day weekend. At this time, we would've been in a hotel room, with his body next to mine. Instead, I just want to choke myself. So I t0ok a nice long hot relaxing bath, played a bit on the computer, talked to my girls and my mom of course, who also agrees that I'm nuts. I just feel that I did the right thing for myself, of course its difficult and yeah, I miss him like crazy, oh God, real bad, but I've made a choice and I must stick to my guns. He has my ring and a movie of mine....I wonder if he will be willing to mail it to me, because if I only see him, I'll grow weak and may fold. He is just that sexy and sooo cute. There is just something about dark men that drives me nuts, completely insane. Paki guys are just way too sexy for their own good. What am I going to do...and did I mention his build, so tall, so frigin built. I love a solid man, good physique. So I'm surviving. It was such a gorgeous night. I went for a nice walk, tried to clear my mind of him. It's hard, but what isn't? So just a few more days and I think I'll be in the clear. I really hope to not hear from him regarding my stuff...why the hell did my ring fall off that night, yeah, I remember why....but why did I forget it, ugh, never a dull moment...too much never ending drama for me....Darling, I miss you terribly, I do wish so badly to be lying in bed with you....but I know this is the best thing for the 2 of us....or should I say, for me.....