Atlantic City....

So my girlfriend had to be in Atlantic City, a tiny convention for lawyers and judges..boring...so she invited me to come Friday night until Saturday...Now mind you, I am not one to be out on a Friday night..there is just something about Friday nights,,I don't know...I'm always tired from the whole week...so anyway...got in touch with my other girlfriend...who just happens to be having "man" problems...she wanted to go...so now I had 2 people pushing me to break out of what has become such a pattern, such a ritual...the much needed Friday night home. Now, yes I did spend Friday night with my lover..how he totally bitched me out about my need to be home on a Friday night. This hunk of a man was so bent on changing this..this morbid habit..my dull, lifeless routines...so anyway..guess what, I went....how I thought about him...thought about his desire to change my set and boring routines...so I said..eh, fuck it...I'm going to do it...to do it for him...with one condition attached of course...my girlfriend drove there and back...now, she's a driver, not I...I am more of umm, a passenger...hate driving...do it because I have to...not a minute more than I have to...so I let her have my car...and Friday, right after work, we set out...I really don't care to gamble...I was just so proud of myself for being out...Tortured my 2 girlfriends..as I went on and on about the man I miss soooo much...They wanted to kill me...but I know they see changes in me...and they also know he's the reason why...now this man...wants me to drink...and I'm not one to drink...nothing phases me in the least...I had 2, yes 2 drinks...in the bar in the hotel...now I'm not a bar chick...my other girlfriend..the lawyer..was completely miserable over this guy..a total jerky bastard moron...I mean horrible, crying, carrying on...the whole nine yards...Now, I miss my man terribly...very uneasy...horribly uneasy...paranoid....thinking he's there getting married to a nice Muslim girl...but I'm okay...I don't know what it is...not crying...not nuts...just cool and patient...so could she drink.....yep, we were drinking..talking about our men...went to bed at 4...up at 9 and then left....I am so proud of myself...so thrilled that the thought of this man who came into my life like a storm...has me making decisions based upon everything he thinks I shoud be doing...I wanted to call him at like 3am...just to tell him...but I figured..eh, I had liquor in me, which probably would've made me say too much....so just a little bit longer...God, how I miss him....I deserve 100 hours in bed with him for dealing with this horrendous ordeal, this freakin trip from hell...not fair...so not cool...hate trips....come home soon darling..I miss you....