What Is Wrong?
Okay, so I know it's been a while, too long. Too much never ending drama and I hate nothing more than to not pen my thoughts, write my mind away, and most of all, my emotions. And as to date, the heart is hurting--now for a whole month.
Okay--lets play judge and jury and could someone, someone sane, please deliver the verdict of hanging my H?? So my H...where can I begin. He really does give lots of unwarranted trouble. These are the things I don't understand: Lets say you meet someone, and you like them....what happens? we start calling less, talk about other women that we are meeting, treat you like crap, ie-"you have me for only one hour---now 40 minutes??" Call me old fashioned, but if I like slash love someone, I am going to let them know, wear my heart on my sleeve, let you know how much I appreciate having you in my life, for being a part of me.
See, this is where I feel as if I'm normal. Let's face it, to connect with someone is rather rare, people hide so many things, tell too many lies, live different lifestyles. So when we do meet, when we do click, its rather unique. Now, being a hard ass, I'm also the opposite on the other hand, lets say I can't stand you...I pretty much keep away, remind you of how much you make my insides turn, and I really do not entertain people, just my few near and dear ones; been there, done that.
So my H--my beautiful H---got a speeding ticket--$500 bucks to be exact---after driving home from my house one night. Feeling terrible, I bought what I thought was a beautiful card. Yup, I read just about every one in the entire freakin store, was looked upon as probably a moron who had nothing better to do with her time--but yes, found the most beautiful card which captured exactly as I feel with my H, slipped in $250---thinking I was doing a NICE thing. Wait, gets better.
After finally seeing H, meaning, after he finally had time to see me, as we departed-I gave him the card, to open privately. Low and behold, he leaves. About 10 minutes later, the man I love, who once told me that he NEVER gets mad...calls.
He tells me, as he is quite MAD, that I did a bad thing, something that was an insult to him and that I need to come out and get the money OR never see him again. Fearing from the tone in his voice the he may mean it, I got nervous, as I would never want to be without him, and proceeded outside to get what I thought was a good thing.
He drove away..annoyed, upset, agitated, full of hate for me.
I quickly called to explain that I didn't mean it in a bad way. Now correct me if I'm wrong, but if you love someone, would you do something that would make them mad on purpose??? I didn't think so. So I tried to rectify, which he didn't even give me the chance, as I left the message.
Now, he said OR, he didn't say "come down now AND you'll never see me again." I know the difference between AND and OR..so why haven't I heard from him in one month?
He didn't even appreciate that I read every card in the store.
He didn't understand that the card and the money clearly meant that I cared....cared that he got the ticket....What if he had told me, and my attitude was "oh, that's just too bad"---something that I didn't want him to think, something I didn't want him to feel. I really wanted him to know that I cared.
He never called--which in my mind, means he's with another woman.
So I'm upset, and mad that he's with another woman and I feel that its totally over between us. He never appreciated me, never even thought for a second that I thought I was doing a good thing. He always says that I'm getting too expensive--and that I owe him about 2 thousand dollars...so in my mind, I wanted to do something to show him that I love and appreciate all of the times that he comes for me, all of the things that he buys me...just wanted to show him that I love and appreciate him.---and now this, silence.
Maybe he got upset because I gave half, not full
Maybe he fell in love with a woman
Maybe he meant to say AND, but OR came out...
Maybe he just needed an excuse to say good bye.
All I know, your honor, is that I miss him, I miss him from my life, and I don't want to be without him...and if I knew this was really a bad thing, I wouldn't have done it...
In the beginning stages of still getting to know people, always give the other person the benefit of the doubt, be open to discuss things, what makes you mad, and see if the other person is willing to compromise. And most important, don't claim to never get mad and then blow your top at someone, who didn't even realize or think for a second that they did something wrong. They just may be afraid---afraid of your temper, afraid of what may happen if they ever did do something bad. The verdict please----should not be me sentenced to this silence for this long.
Okay--lets play judge and jury and could someone, someone sane, please deliver the verdict of hanging my H?? So my H...where can I begin. He really does give lots of unwarranted trouble. These are the things I don't understand: Lets say you meet someone, and you like them....what happens? we start calling less, talk about other women that we are meeting, treat you like crap, ie-"you have me for only one hour---now 40 minutes??" Call me old fashioned, but if I like slash love someone, I am going to let them know, wear my heart on my sleeve, let you know how much I appreciate having you in my life, for being a part of me.
See, this is where I feel as if I'm normal. Let's face it, to connect with someone is rather rare, people hide so many things, tell too many lies, live different lifestyles. So when we do meet, when we do click, its rather unique. Now, being a hard ass, I'm also the opposite on the other hand, lets say I can't stand you...I pretty much keep away, remind you of how much you make my insides turn, and I really do not entertain people, just my few near and dear ones; been there, done that.
So my H--my beautiful H---got a speeding ticket--$500 bucks to be exact---after driving home from my house one night. Feeling terrible, I bought what I thought was a beautiful card. Yup, I read just about every one in the entire freakin store, was looked upon as probably a moron who had nothing better to do with her time--but yes, found the most beautiful card which captured exactly as I feel with my H, slipped in $250---thinking I was doing a NICE thing. Wait, gets better.
After finally seeing H, meaning, after he finally had time to see me, as we departed-I gave him the card, to open privately. Low and behold, he leaves. About 10 minutes later, the man I love, who once told me that he NEVER gets mad...calls.
He tells me, as he is quite MAD, that I did a bad thing, something that was an insult to him and that I need to come out and get the money OR never see him again. Fearing from the tone in his voice the he may mean it, I got nervous, as I would never want to be without him, and proceeded outside to get what I thought was a good thing.
He drove away..annoyed, upset, agitated, full of hate for me.
I quickly called to explain that I didn't mean it in a bad way. Now correct me if I'm wrong, but if you love someone, would you do something that would make them mad on purpose??? I didn't think so. So I tried to rectify, which he didn't even give me the chance, as I left the message.
Now, he said OR, he didn't say "come down now AND you'll never see me again." I know the difference between AND and OR..so why haven't I heard from him in one month?
He didn't even appreciate that I read every card in the store.
He didn't understand that the card and the money clearly meant that I cared....cared that he got the ticket....What if he had told me, and my attitude was "oh, that's just too bad"---something that I didn't want him to think, something I didn't want him to feel. I really wanted him to know that I cared.
He never called--which in my mind, means he's with another woman.
So I'm upset, and mad that he's with another woman and I feel that its totally over between us. He never appreciated me, never even thought for a second that I thought I was doing a good thing. He always says that I'm getting too expensive--and that I owe him about 2 thousand dollars...so in my mind, I wanted to do something to show him that I love and appreciate all of the times that he comes for me, all of the things that he buys me...just wanted to show him that I love and appreciate him.---and now this, silence.
Maybe he got upset because I gave half, not full
Maybe he fell in love with a woman
Maybe he meant to say AND, but OR came out...
Maybe he just needed an excuse to say good bye.
All I know, your honor, is that I miss him, I miss him from my life, and I don't want to be without him...and if I knew this was really a bad thing, I wouldn't have done it...
In the beginning stages of still getting to know people, always give the other person the benefit of the doubt, be open to discuss things, what makes you mad, and see if the other person is willing to compromise. And most important, don't claim to never get mad and then blow your top at someone, who didn't even realize or think for a second that they did something wrong. They just may be afraid---afraid of your temper, afraid of what may happen if they ever did do something bad. The verdict please----should not be me sentenced to this silence for this long.
posted by vita86lover at 12:38 PM
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