This Summer Blows

I am not having a good summer, at all. This is the first summer that I am stuck here, in the city, which I hate being in, in the first place. How I love to be in Florida, where it's quiet, laid back, eating apple pie and just enjoying a change of scenery.I never go anywhere, ever. So my summers would be the only time that I look for ward to doing stuff that I never get to do. There are so many things that I want to do, so many places that I want to see...but I just don't know how to begin to get that drive to go. I need to be pushed, severely. Plus, I have no one to go anywhere with. I don't get along with people enough to enjoy many days away with. I think that is a huge thing, when you can spend more than a few hours with someone, without wanting to kill the other person. Okay, I'll admit, I'm rather trying...I love to drive everyone friggin nuts...so in other words..if you feel like beatin the crap out of me...my stiitude would be, take a number and get in line....and I just laugh....and laugh. I know I can be obnoxious, I have no patience for people either. I can't spend more than 4 hours with my best friend...never mind 2 or 3 days...or longer----there would be a battle, which would end a friendship..so its best to just keep it simple.

So my dad did my ticket and I didn't use it. I was supposed to leave Wednesday night...but being that this move from hell---has given me a beatin...as I'm just torn...I don't know if I want to move...so I've been a little down in the dumps....thank God my dad is so understanding. Now my sister, brother in law and niece and nephews are all there. I miss them soooooo much. When they come on the phone...they pull at my heart so bad, they'll never know....so they didn't know I was supposed to come, as it was a suprise, which was good, as they would've had hard feelings.

So Friday, I received a very disturbing call from my mother. She was so panicked. My da and brother in law had to rush my sister to the hospital. They were all together hanging out, with the kids, when according to my sister, a wasp flew right into her eye and stung her in her eyeball. My mother said she never heard anyone scream the way she screamed....and the worst part about it..is unfortunately it happened in front of her children. My mother said they were all crying, they knew something bad happened to their mom. So my da, who is the most amazing when it comes to emergencies, how he has spent so much time with us in the hospital, it's disgusting. With me,he left the room..couldn't take all of the blood...couldn't take the sight I guess, but he has an incredible strength...one that I truly admire..I don't know how he has coped with all that he has dealt with from us...So my sister is given pain killers through IV for the pain that she was in, they gave her steroids too. So now back and forth on the phone with my mother for a few hours, Peter kept coming on the phone. He's still just a baby...when it happened..he kept sreaming.."I can't breath, I can't breath....oh this poor baby....he has the biggest heart, he is the most wicked....but also the most giving. Now the nextphone call, my mother said, she had pain shooting straight to her brain...so to calm my mother who is there with 3 panicked kids...I told my mother she was fine...my mother starts to think of surgery..brain damage..all of this stuff....now how guilty do I feel for being here...knowing if I was there I would help the situation...so talkin to the kids...they started to make a banner for their mom and color...and hang it since she'd be home soon. So with that, my sister called me and said..the doctors had a meeting and she had 2 bites and her eye was all fucked up. Being that she's a nurse and knowing that both my da and brother in law are affiliated with NYU Medical, I guess they knew not to fuck around with her.

I hatehospitals, I swear I wanted to smoke a cigarette in the amblance..I swore I was going right out the 2 doors...I just hate it...gross..all of those germs..So my sister is okay, she said it was better her than god forbid, one of the kids who were right there. She said she wouldn't know how they would've dealt if by a matter of a few feet if it was one of the kids...So in essence, it is amazing how in a matter of moments, life can change so drastically...it only takes just a few seconds for things to spiral out of control. I guess its very important everyday to always count your blessings. Drama, drama, drama, never ending drama....and she has to be the biggest drama queen ever, nothing like me,at all. I'm more down to earth, at least I can go to a gas station and gas my own car......