It's 5 am
It's 5am and I am up, when I should be sleeping, beauty sleep is important to me. I think we all know what happens if I dont take my daily nap---deciding to blog--nothing else---not even peeking on another website. This tells me I'm ok, okay with myself, by myself-I have a level of comfort here which I don't want to give up just yet. So my niece slept over, she is still sleeping. I know, I know...what a great aunt I am--blew her hair out--ugh and I thought my hair was long--she is 12 going on 25, a good kid---smart, good looking, I swear she gets it from me, respectful.
Strolls in with her coach bag, coach wallet, cell phone, and north face sleepover bag. But what is wrong with her? Where did she come from---ugh, tiny image of my sister--So innocent. I hope she stays that way. I hope she grows up smart. I hope she doesn't realize boys exist until she's about 30. I worry, what if someone takes advantage of her kindness, now being a realist, there are evil men out there--I came face to face with the worst kind---but not even going there--I swear, ---but even these relationship guys--or boyfriends--my god, do they even exist today?
Do guys even make themselves your guy? Does he commit to being your man, your guy? I am starting to believe no---now, I haven't dated in so friggin long--but when I did, as I was a knock out in my younger years--I spent so many yrs with a guy that gave me his jacket--It was known--he was my guy--that seat in the Benz was mine--the one time, oh his poor cousin--when she decided to bum a ride from him, and word spread like wild fire, he was seen with another girl in the car---and it wasn't me---do those times exist? are those guys out there?
If they are not, I wouldn't even bother, why waste my time? I don't need the hurt nor aggravation that comes with it. These are the things I'm learning. Where are all of the cowboys?
So I've been talkin to this guy a few weeks now--he is a surgeon. He is great and all, but I don't know, why did I dodge him since yesterday--we speak everyday--but now--I dont know, I'm just in a safe.comfortable place--the summer is booked, I'm all booked, ready to go---leaving town for a good few weeks, why bother to start something now? Eh, I'm so lazy in this department--I think its only here, only in ny, where these men don't give the jackets anymore--I'm sorry, call me old fashioned, but no jacket, no coochie-coochie---I'm no idiot--
So I'm thinking--going away---being far from all of this---maybe I shall date away--experience someone who does not have this ny state of mind--this 'I need variety' deal--its not for me, I refuse to indulge in something that can lessen or weaken me as a woman, cheapen all that I am--or make me feel differently about myself--so I look forward to renting my hummer--and relaxing--or maybe I can be a bit daring--and go for a convertible--but then, ugh my hair--maybe I'll just use my parents Infiniti's--and lay low--the two of them make me nuts--matching cars--matching outfits--I kid you not--such giving people---so back to my niece--hurry up and wake up--lets go for breakfast--before you get big--you better stay smart--keep away from the boys--or I swear, as your aunt who can kick some ass--I will wish karma so strongly on all men--karma--in the worst way---may whatever any man do that is not righteous--come back, not to haunt him...but may his children feel the pain he gave to others--that will be my harshly, venomous revenge--karma---i will wish it so harshly--that any man would question and think twice about how he treats anyone, especially the females---ugh, just stay 12---and innocent--its a cruel place out there--
Strolls in with her coach bag, coach wallet, cell phone, and north face sleepover bag. But what is wrong with her? Where did she come from---ugh, tiny image of my sister--So innocent. I hope she stays that way. I hope she grows up smart. I hope she doesn't realize boys exist until she's about 30. I worry, what if someone takes advantage of her kindness, now being a realist, there are evil men out there--I came face to face with the worst kind---but not even going there--I swear, ---but even these relationship guys--or boyfriends--my god, do they even exist today?
Do guys even make themselves your guy? Does he commit to being your man, your guy? I am starting to believe no---now, I haven't dated in so friggin long--but when I did, as I was a knock out in my younger years--I spent so many yrs with a guy that gave me his jacket--It was known--he was my guy--that seat in the Benz was mine--the one time, oh his poor cousin--when she decided to bum a ride from him, and word spread like wild fire, he was seen with another girl in the car---and it wasn't me---do those times exist? are those guys out there?
If they are not, I wouldn't even bother, why waste my time? I don't need the hurt nor aggravation that comes with it. These are the things I'm learning. Where are all of the cowboys?
So I've been talkin to this guy a few weeks now--he is a surgeon. He is great and all, but I don't know, why did I dodge him since yesterday--we speak everyday--but now--I dont know, I'm just in a safe.comfortable place--the summer is booked, I'm all booked, ready to go---leaving town for a good few weeks, why bother to start something now? Eh, I'm so lazy in this department--I think its only here, only in ny, where these men don't give the jackets anymore--I'm sorry, call me old fashioned, but no jacket, no coochie-coochie---I'm no idiot--
So I'm thinking--going away---being far from all of this---maybe I shall date away--experience someone who does not have this ny state of mind--this 'I need variety' deal--its not for me, I refuse to indulge in something that can lessen or weaken me as a woman, cheapen all that I am--or make me feel differently about myself--so I look forward to renting my hummer--and relaxing--or maybe I can be a bit daring--and go for a convertible--but then, ugh my hair--maybe I'll just use my parents Infiniti's--and lay low--the two of them make me nuts--matching cars--matching outfits--I kid you not--such giving people---so back to my niece--hurry up and wake up--lets go for breakfast--before you get big--you better stay smart--keep away from the boys--or I swear, as your aunt who can kick some ass--I will wish karma so strongly on all men--karma--in the worst way---may whatever any man do that is not righteous--come back, not to haunt him...but may his children feel the pain he gave to others--that will be my harshly, venomous revenge--karma---i will wish it so harshly--that any man would question and think twice about how he treats anyone, especially the females---ugh, just stay 12---and innocent--its a cruel place out there--
posted by vita86lover at 2:01 AM
4 Comments:
I have read all of you and I just want to tell you that I enjoy reading your blog and have been following it for quite some time. May I email you?
oh my, what a sweet thing to write.. I can't imagine anyone enjoying my personal thoughts...but yes, you may email me.
I read your blog and enjoyed it as well, and wow, you've been to Karachi? I want so much to go, are you from there originally? I see your name is Hassan and I will look for your email....v
It's nice to hear back from you. Glad you enjoyed the blog. I really enjoyed your you-tube videos. Would you believe me if I told you those were my favorite songs, especially the 1st one? I will email you now,without making you wait any further. I've realized that speaking on a thread may cause interference from others who may not be wrapped very well.
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