Calm After the Storm

Calm, calm and more calm....After being with someone who I just love....after facing being deleted once friggin again, after reading virgo for a friggin year and a half EVERYDAY, just to learn tall, dark, handsome, and full of secrets is a friggin pisces....I must say, I'm calm....I have pondered and can only come up with the fact that he'll never know how much he hurts me, how he is so not honest, so unfair to me and takes me for granted...you know in the beginning, when you want so much to meet someone and along comes someone who just melts you nd fits in every little inch of your life, your ways, your dreams---he has flowers, presents, suprises, spends quality time, quality never ending phone calls---unexpected emails---and the time, all of the time--just for you---to just be together---then it fades---he friggin moves---its gone--he resurfaces...but so different from what he used to be--no long talks---no long walks---no moments---nothing---he killed it down to nothing---your time is running out---you know it---cut your losses---actually---his loss---its not what you gain---its what you lose without the other person---so wht did I lose?---lies, hurt feelings---no honesty---someone who can't compliment but who can write a missed connection about someone they never knew---never touched, never spoke to---and tell her she is gorgeous and sophisticated??wtf?---and you--nothing--maybe you are not gorgeous enough, nor sophisticated--but at this calm moment...you can walk away with your broken heart in hand---the one he just stepped on---knowing that deep down inside, you are human, you want and need a good human, someone with a good heart as you---someone who will love you for you--not just for the moment--but for always--who puts the effort in--when the heart is willing, it tries 1000 ways, when its not, 0 ways---so you pray that he appears--magically---takes you away---to a place where the effort for the 2 of you is all that exists---your number 1 priority---and if he's not strong and willing, then he's not for you---a hungry dog will eat raw bones-----I am not hungry---I fell in love---with someone who has no soul...........who deletes and hurts feelings----is this what you want, when everyone else has thes tight guys--these great guys that are with them always---is this what you want---or someone who can show love, who has a lot of love to give----so while calm, coming out of confusion---think...and be smart--not dumb....