Single White Female...

Okay, so this brings to mind that poorly made movie from so many, many years ago. Yep, the one about that psycho, compulsive girlfriend beast from hell who tries to kill her roommate. I think we've all had a friend like this at one time or another. If you've never, then you're lucky. Unfortunately, I have encountered this way too many times in my life, lucky me. But what do you do when it now appears to be some greaseball from work. Yes, I can't take it anymore. I have the colleague from hell after me.

So I love to be dressed, love my high heeled boots, love leather, love bags, hell you only live once. There is nothing wrong with dressing with tude and draping that wrap around you to add drama and flavor to your personality, this is New York. So living here my whole life, I must say it becomes a habit. But what happens when the boobless bimbo from where else, but Long Island, yuk, makes a point of commenting on your outfits and shoes. "Oh I just love your...everything you're wearing" Your instant reflexes tell you to scream, "fuck off nerd," but you choose to be a lady. Then what happens when bimbo diva starts wearing what you wore the freakin day before and then the next day she freakin wears, would you believe, what you wore the day before, with the same freakin accessories, minus the thick diamond cross around your neck. What do you do? Convert?...never..... but now you can't help but wonder if this jappy jap will be converting any time soon, for the sake of the cross that has been worn around your neck for, never mind years, but freakin decades. So yea, I guess I'm a little heated, have to write because I think I'm losing my mind right about now...never mind my freakin identity. So now the plot thickens, as a means of consolation, you begin to accept that this freakin moron is making a complete ass of herself. And now..ahhha..yes, your colleagues, thank God for eyes, start to notice deranged single white female's behavior. This flat chested, bony broad faccia brutta must be brave or must enjoy making a complete ass of herself, does she not realize that people will begin to notice this new, must admit MUST needed change, is the result of having no life or alcoholism...does she not realize that women like me, will see through this, as this is what we do. So you begin to feel nice as people question if she's invaded your closets and you begin to feel a little good, but you're also embarrasssed. Now this is where it thickens, she starts becoming agitated, nasty, taking a "tone" with sweet little old me...who happens to have 0 patience for semi-retarded adults. So why is she bitchin at me...what the hell did I do...I freakin wear my own clothes....so now, drum roll please, psycho is now "using my lines", my words, my thoughts, my phrases...and I'm not talking the one's I have 0 rights over, like, "Go Fuck Yourself." Nope, it's the personal one's, the one's in my head, in my heart. Scratchin my head, how does she do it? Is it possible for this nerd to pop in and out of my head, or is my phone tapped....eh, wouldn't be the 1st time, but what the hell is wrong with her? Uppp. phone's ringing..gotta go gossip about crazy nerdy, I believe closet alcoholic, single white female...help me, help me, fashion police, where are you...uuuh taaaakkke her awaaaay....